Wondering and Wandering

Just posting to let everyone know that I am still around. If you can believe it is possible, things have actually gotten harder for me. I'm not in a place mentally or emotionally to map it all out right now. But I am still around and still checking out the blogs. Hope to be back soon.

You guys! I just has a $400 come up! There was a difference on my car repair (from the accident) and since the payment was made to me and the body shop couldn't do an adjustment, it is due to me. And yes, it is verified. So I am in $400 better shape than I was. Yes, I am still in a hole, but wow. What a blessing.

And my baby black dog is doing good. He is better everyday.

Maybe I'm turning a corner?

After the loss of 1 dog and the recovery of the other, I am spent. I tried to take some time over the weekend to heal emotionally. He was just very special to me. And my other dog is doing well. He should make a full recovery. I have 2 other dogs. One is having a hard time with the loss of his "brother." That also makes it hard on me. Trying to heal a dog's broken heart.

The Uber Frugal month has started. On Sunday I wanted pizza again. But we did not go. I did not spend any money on Saturday or Sunday. I have my lunch for the next 2 days and I have dinner planned. I was going to buy a can of refried beans this morning, but I realized I had a can of pinto beans that I can mash up and use. I know the beans are only $0.79, but why spend it if I don't have to? Wednesday we are going to my sister's for the 4th of July. That will cover our lunch and maybe even dinner. I am bringing a cake, which I have all the stuff to make.

I am just trying to move forward. Trying to stay on the goal of doing the Uber Frugal month. And trying to dig out of the hole.

Yesterday was one of the worst days ever. 2 of my dogs were bit by a snake. The smallest did not survive. I rushed him to the ER and they tried to do what they could. They said that they could try the anti-venom but that they did not think he would survive even with it. The anticipated cost of treatment with the anti-venom was $3K. My other dog was also caught on the lip. His treatment with anti-venom would also be $3K. The vet felt like he would be ok with normal treatment which consisted of injections, cleaning, pain meds and antibiotics. I had to open a credit account to pay for this. I don't regret it. My love for them and my other animals is insurmountable. In total, with the treatments and the euthanasia it cost $700 for both dogs. I am heartbroken and exhausted. (Got home from the ER about 1:00 AM and only slept about an hour and a half) Please send healing thoughts and prayers for my boy that made it. And maybe some thoughts and prayers that I can have strength to endure this.

I brought my lunch again today. I have not used my debit card in 3 days. But I want pizza so bad. I just can't do it. I don't have the cash and I can't make my account worse just because I want pizza. Its disappointing but it will be better in the long run.

Today I scrounged up money for dog food. I found money in little accounts until low and behold I had enough for a bag. I just can't let anything else clear my account right now. That is the only way it will ever stop getting worse.

I brought my breakfast and lunch today. And I have dinner planned for tonight. And I have gas in my car for a few days.

I also have an order on Thursday. I will make $48.

I decided to do another entry today because I am just a blob of emotions today. I just want something more. More than a life full of debt. More than financial stress. More than being in this hole. I'm angry that I got myself here. I understand that we have been dealt a difficult hand and some circumstances that we can't control, but we should be prepared. I'm not looking to beat myself up. I am actually feeling better about things. But today is a different day. I can't really explain it. I am sad and angry and determined and optimistic. The idea of a super frugal month has really inspired me. Maybe if I try this and keep plugging along...maybe I can do this. Today I feel like I am rising up out of the ashes, but crouched down and holding on for dear life on the ascent. I am believing that there is more to life than this. That its ok to want more. And that its ok to think I deserve more, if I am willing to put in the work. Maybe its a breakthrough moment. Maybe its being too hopeful. I don't know. But I'm riding this wave.

So, I meal planned and I have 11 full meals that I can make with what I have right now. We also have 4 boxes of cereal, misc snacks, and extra meals I can make like pancakes, eggs, a frozen pizza, etc. I also have my lunches covered and my DH will have leftovers for his lunches. Tonight I get a free meal and movie. My sister had gift cards for the tickets and we are having snacks at my Mom's house beforehand. We are going to see the Mr. Roger's movie. Should be a nice night.

For July, I am only allowing $20 a pay period for groceries and I can only use cash. It will be difficult, but I am working on my couponing skills and I will just have to be thrifty. They will not be gourmet meals. But for one month we can do it. Wish us luck.

Side note: Bad Loan is paid off as of last Friday. HOORAY!!!

I've just been reading entries lately since I do not have much to update on. I'm still just surviving. Trying to find extra money where I can. My last Bad Loan payment is Friday. $244 will make its way back into my budget. Still waiting for September when I will be positive in my bank account and can work on debt repayment.

I am doing a frugal challenge for July. I feel like everyday is a frugal challenge, but I am still living beyond my means.

Just trying to be positive and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm over the dr visits! Yesterday's visit was for me, for my back. It is still hurting since my accident 2 weeks ago. It wasn't covered under insurance since it was auto accident related. I know I will be reimbursed by the other insurance company, but I don't know when. Got 2 prescriptions.

I am taking my car to be repaired tomorrow and have a long list of to dos for the weekend. I am going to try to get some rest too.

So, it has been almost 3 months since I started here. My numbers haven't changed much. And although I am definitely in a rough place financially, I have realized that "I" am a major piece of the problem. Basically, I have 3 problems.
1) Myself and my unwillingness to make changes
2) My budget
3) Not enough money

1) I am struggling to accept that I need to make some changes. I cannot seem to completely get on board. My mindset has changed. I have the desire to change. But I am not doing the work or the follow-through.

2) My budget. The problem is that I don't have everything budgeted for, but I still buy those things because they are necessary or because I "choose" to. Gas, groceries, and dog food. Those are all necessities. And I just try to come up with money to pay for them. But sometimes I don't and that is why my numbers are not improving.

3) I just don't have enough money. I have to push to have extra coming in. That is the only way out of the hole.

My mind knows what to do. I am staring at the computer screen while I type this thinking "Yes! Get your sh*t together. You know what to do!" But I find myself stuck. What is the major malfunction here.

And I do have a side job that I am guaranteed $50/week. I use that towards the $500 Loan payment and it doesn't go into the bank account at all. But then I think I should work during the week somewhere else. But after a 10 hour day, I am just so tired. I don't know if I can do it. Combined with a household and family, its just a lot.

Anyway....these are today's thoughts.

You guys...only 2 more payments and I will be done with my Bad Loan. After 2 more payments (06/08 and 06/22) I will have $244 more dollars a month.

September is when I will be out of this hole. The "hole" being back in the black in my account. Of course my goal is sooner but if I don't do anything extra, it will be September. I will have money allowed for gas and food. I will have money for each credit card. I estimated low on my paychecks, just to add a cushion. If I work a full 40 hours, my check will be $50 more than I plan for. I try to always work 40, but lately with me being sick and my husband's injury I haven't always made it.

I found $7 in my paypal account today. I guess I got a payment from Ebates and didn't realize it. So I transferred that to my bank account. I also got 2 amazon gift cards - 1 for $10 and 1 - $5. The $10 one was for signing up for an Audible trial through Exxon Mobil Speedpass. And the $5 was from Saver Life where I won a scratch off prize. So that is $15 I can use toward something. Maybe dog food? Maybe Christmas? Something.

Well, I was in an accident yesterday. I was rear ended at a stoplight. I'm sore today on top of being sick. But I'm ok. It wasn't my fault. And they have insurance. So still a lot to be thankful for.

I'm still going to do my orders this weekend so I will have that money coming in. But it may take me a little longer in the kitchen.

Enjoy the Memorial Day weekend. Hope its relaxing and frugal.

Ok here is what is coming in.

$200 order - spent $59.25 in materials
$20 order -
$36 order - spent $18.48 in materials for both orders

Sold 1 item for $8 and I am meeting someone today to sell another for $12.

So I should have $198.27. Not bad!!

$65 of that will have to go towards my dr's appt I had last night. I hate that I am sick, but I am doing my best to power through. And I only went because I knew it would only get worse. So at least I am $133 in the right direction.

I really hate these spammy responses that keep showing up on our blogs.

I have to go get supplies today on my lunch for my big order on Friday. I brought my lunch but there is no way that I can go to the store and eat my lunch in an hour. So I found a coupon I had for a free pretzel. I'll eat that while I am shopping. Yay for no spending.

I made burgers last night instead of pasta. But we do have leftovers so we will have those for dinner tonight. And I made my DH lunch for the next 2 days and I will eat my lunch from today tomorrow. So I just have to figure out Thursday and Friday.

Trying to make smart choices. Listed 3 things online today. Looking everyday for more things to list. Contemplating selling my favorite art piece. I think I could get $300-$400 for it. I just don't know if I can let it go without a lot of regret.

I did my side job on Friday and was able to deposit $50. I found $15 so that brought the total to $65. And I found the check I got for my razor rebate and that is $5.99. So I was able to depot $70.99 today. Not huge but its something. I still have my order this week. It pays $200, but I am allowing $60 for supplies. I'm hoping I can come in under budget. But even if I don't, $140 will be nice.

I have breakfast planned for the whole week. I brought my lunch today and I'm having the same thing tomorrow. I'm making pasta tonight for dinner, so I will be able to eat that for lunch on Wednesday. My lunch is some brown and wild rice with Kidney beans, kale, and some avocado. It was pretty filling and I had everything on hand, except the avocado. I paid $1.74 for 2 this morning with some change.

I'm still hoping to sell some items and continue the inflow of cash.

Well, I have been putting it off because I didn't want to know the truth. I knew the last 3 weeks had been costly and today I know just how costly it was. At the end of the month I will be $1020.64 in the red. I know. Its flabbergasting. I can sit here and list all the excuses why it got that way, but that's it...they are just excuses. I am going to scrounge up $21.00 immediately so I am below 1K. I have a side job today that will pay $50. I have an order that I will make $140 on next Friday. And I am just going to start selling everything I can. $1. $5. Whatever I can make. Because I can't pay off debt until I get out of this hole. And I know we will have medical bills soon so I have to get a grip.

I haven't used my debit card since we agreed to not buy anything. I still have gas. We have food in our pantry and we have enough dog food for at least a week.

Counting down the days until this Bad loan is done. That will free up $244 a month. If I can get in the black, that $244 will make me feel rich.

Anyone have thoughts on driving for Lyft? They tell me that I could make $124 driving 6 hours a week. Is it worth the wear and tear on my vehicle? Is it safe? I tried Instacart a while back, but it was a flop. Total waste of time.

Just looking at ways to make extra money. I can't ask for a raise right now. Still trying to find things to sell on letgo. I have $30 in baked item sales this week. But with hundreds of dollars needed, I need to find another option.

Today I signed up for ExxonMobil Speedpass. I get gas at Exxon on my way to work. They are having a promotion where if you sign up for Speedpass you get 2 free months of Audible from Amazon and a $10 Amazon card. Plus $.10 off per gallon. Seems like a good deal for me. I put a reminder on my calendar to cancel the Audible account in a month so I don't get charged the monthly fee.

We had baked potatoes left from our Mother's Day dinner, so I made a ham and potato skillet kind of dinner and leftover cheddar bay biscuits we had. My DH loved it. And I told him about the decision to not go to the store unless its milk or dog food. He is on board...so we will see how we do.

I have been reading lots of articles on the internet about getting out of debt and saving money. But I am wondering where the advice for real people is. (Besides SA) The advice is... travel less, reduce 401K contribution, change your bill dates. ??? Really. I guess if you are not struggling with debt and cash flow, these may be ok suggestions. I only contribute 1% to my 401K. And I do this because my employer matches and I would hate to miss that opportunity. I am definitely not traveling. And changing my due dates won't change anything for me.

Today I changed to paperless statements at Chase so I could get a $5 credit. I committed to only going to the store for milk and dog food. And I listed 2 things on letgo this morning. I have 2 small baking orders this week and am going to try to sell some items at a swap meet this weekend.

I dream of the day that I can go get a pedicure and know that I have the money to pay for it and I do not have credit card debt. I played around with numbers to see if I could see what it would take to get my debt paid off in 3 years, contribute to Savings and our business, and take 3 years off of our mortgage. I would need an extra $168.75 per week. Is that obtainable???

I sure do enjoy reading everyone's blogs. I have been learning a lot and its great to get to know so many people with different stories.

I have been sick. Missed work yesterday because of constant throwing up. (Sorry for the detail.) Maybe stress or 24 hour bug...not sure. Today is better but not great. DH is still down. Hoping he feels better today.

I will try to update on finances when I get through payday and see where I am at.

Thanks again for the support, tips, and advice.

Anybody heard from CB in the City?

I do not have any financial news. I am still not even sure where we are at right now. My planning and budget has been wiped out. I am hoping since my husband has finally turned a corner that I can try to sit down and reevaluate.

We have had 3 ER visits, a DR visit, 2 Chiropractor visits, multiple RXs, and multiple other expenses with medical. Our computer died at home, someone stole our fire pit, an employee quit at our business, a flat tire, and I have some family drama. Sigh. I am trying to deal with it all. Trying to keep everything afloat. I know that it could be worse and I can handle it.

I just want to order pizza and buy a giant Dr Pepper and veg out on the couch. But the plan is to cook something for dinner and work on laundry for a few minutes. But I do want to go to bed early. Hoping for a good week.

Well, we are now up to 3 ER visits. Multiple prescriptions. Multiple meals out due to sheer exhaustion. My husband hasn't been able to work this last week. And we found out that he may need surgery for an aneurysm that they happened to find while diagnosing his injury. So I need to come up with $650, which is what my account will be negative now at the end of the month. And a good $9K in savings to support us if he has to have surgery. We have to see a specialist and see when and if surgery is necessary.

I'm not looking for pity and I am not giving excuses. I am so exhausted from not sleeping due to stress and worry and my husband. And I have these great ideas to bake and sell items, but I'm so tired. I guess I will just need to power through it some how. I want to fix this. I want to have a savings. I want to be in control. I really do.

Positive Vibes Only.

Well we had to go to the ER again for DH. The pain is just too much. So honestly, I am not even sure where I am sitting financially right now. I know that we are doing a " keep the change" type thing on your bank account. So it puts change in our savings account each day. We went from $37.00 to $54.00. Its not much, but its a start.

Well, my weekend didn't go as planned. Unfortunately we had to have a visit to the Emergency Room for my DH. He is ok. But we did have some surprise expenses - Prescriptions, extra gas, items for comfort. I'm going to have to look at our bank account and see what we can do.

This is why we need a savings account.

I have done some looking into the future, and we will be in much better shape after June 22nd. I know its 2 months away but we just need to stay positive and try to stay on track the best we can.

I feel like I have been in a fog the last couple of days. Mopey, no sleep, loss of concentration fog. I didn't make a lunch and I didn't have anything at work so I bought my lunch...which I really didn't have the money to do. And now I have this guilt. Just a rough day.

I did get an order for some cookies and other baked goods. I have to buy some supplies but I could make about $30 off the order. I also found some pictures that we used to have in our bedroom that I can sell. Seriously need to find some money. (I think I am feeling more pressure since I spent money on lunch.)

I am a soda drinker. Not the best habit. But I am spending $1.08 on a soda almost every morning. $1.08 doesn't seem bad until you figure it multiplied by 24 days on average. That is $25.92 a month. That's some gas, or some groceries, or almost my vision insurance premium! So I think it will be a lot better for my body and my bank accounts if I can do something about this. I know I can't go cold turkey, so I bought 8 little bottles for $3.33. So that makes them 0.42 each. So I have already saved $5.28. I can drink free water and coffee at work. And we have water and I can make tea at home. Hopefully I can slow the sodas down and keep the money.

I also am spending money on breakfast and/or lunch. I know I don't have the money, but I do it anyway. So I am really trying this week. I know this is why I am not making progress! But I packed my lunch today and I have my meal plans for dinner. I also have 3 English Muffins that I can have for breakfast with some peanut butter this week. I think this will be better for my body also.

I am really trying to look at every dollar we are spending. When you really look at it, it can be really shocking. The change is hard, but I'm trying.

I am a soda drinker. Not the best habit. But I am spending $1.08 on a soda almost every morning. $1.08 doesn't seem bad until you figure it multiplied by 24 days on average. That is $25.92 a month. That's some gas, or some groceries, or almost my vision insurance premium! So I think it will be a lot better for my body and my bank accounts if I can do something about this. I know I can't go cold turkey, so I bought 8 little bottles for $3.33. So that makes them 0.42 each. So I have already saved $5.28. I can drink free water and coffee at work. And we have water and I can make tea at home. Hopefully I can slow the sodas down and keep the money.

I also am spending money on breakfast and/or lunch. I know I don't have the money, but I do it anyway. So I am really trying this week. I know this is why I am not making progress! But I packed my lunch today and I have my meal plans for dinner. I also have 3 English Muffins that I can have for breakfast with some peanut butter this week. I think this will be better for my body also.

I am really trying to look at every dollar we are spending. When you really look at it, it can be really shocking. The change is hard, but I'm trying.